"DeLuise DeLights and Disasters" by RJ DeLuise

01/06/10

Brrrrrrrrr-it's cold outside and you know what that means: scarf season is here! Just when you thought you had opened your last holiday present, one more shiny gift to open reads: "DeLuise DeLights and Disasters: episode 14: New Year's Manly Eve Special w/ Biff Busick". Of course the "Chairman of Chitter-Chatter", yours truly, Mr. Rudiger J. DeLuise (RJ if you please) will be your guide through this wondrous Chaotic New Year Celebration.

Old enemies find themselves in a new war on January 8th at the PAV in Lowell. 4-WAY WARFARE will feature four of the most dominant, influential, cockiest and spookiest superstars in the Chaotic Universe when Alex Arion, Brian Fury, Brian Milonas, and Demon Ortiz wage willful war upon each other for the opportunity to battle Chase Del Monte for the CW Heavyweight Championship at the biggest ballgame we play: COLD FURY 9. The "Golden Greek" Alex Arion and "The Puerto Rican Poltergeist" Demon Ortiz AND the "Chaotic Kingpin" Brian Milonas.. AND the "Sultan of Sobriety" Brian Fury all in the ring at the same time, every man for himself? Sky rockets in flight, this will be a guaranteed DeLuise DeLight!

In other title news, Danny E. "The Blowout Beast" will defend his New England Championship against the "Giddy Greek" Elia Sweetsixteenalos who also happens to have the distinction of holding the title before Danny E. and also Elia has the distinction of holding up the line in the cafeteria during 7th period lunch because he just says "Opa" and no one can understand him. "The pre-teen pugilist" Elia Rootytootyfreshnfruitylos takes on the "Pint-size Powerhouse" Danny E. for Danny's well deserved and beautifully man-scaped New England Title. You can tell your children you saw "Dominant Danny E." LIVE!

Sean Gorman manages champions. He also destroys careers. Sean Gorman's Empire has spent most of their time and resources attempting to dismantle the "American Sasuke" Mikaze and on January 8th, Scott Reed plans to end the enigmatic New England Ninja's career. Mikaze's mastery of martial arts will be put to the ultimate test when he steps into the Chaotic ring with "Hot to Trot" Scott Reed - The Crown Jewel of the Empire. These two combatants are quicker than liquor and this match could not be any sicker.

I received an e-mail from the "Mantown Public Library" and it read as follows:

"To RJ: Mantown finally got books and they put them in this building which is not all that manly, but they let me have a copy of "Shooting Stuff Monthly" and "Trucks N' Guns". They also have this interweb machine that sends out information or some other sissy-nancy tecno-babble. After I updated my man status on "manbook", I realized I had your e-mail address from the PAV men's room stall. I wanted to wish myself a Manly New Year and to let the sissy-nancies in Lowell know that on January whatever, I, Biff Busick, the MANLIEST MAN, will check Psycho into the Mantown Psychiatric Center for sissy-nancy treatment.

Manly,
Biff Busick"

See Chaotic Wrestling Live for the first time in 2010! I've told you enough and I won't tell you again!

Until next time, may all your DeLights be DeLuise,
RJ DeLuise