"DeLuise DeLights and Disasters" by RJ DeLuise

08/18/09

Coming to you from my Manhattan DeLuise De-Luxe apartment (in the sky-y), RJ DeLuise here movin' on up to the date when Chaotic Wrestling changes forever, SUMMER CHAOS! The following presentation is the ninth edition of the critically acclaimed and grammy nominated 1080p High Definition worldwide broadcast known simply as: DeLuise DeLights and Disasters - SUMMER CHAOS Edition (with exclusive Biff Busick interview).

Six man tag team turmoil??? Must be SUMMER CHAOS. The Logan Losers (Bryan and Matthew) were running scared when they first met the Blowout Cousin, Frankie A. Frankie A., a pedicure and protein shake enthusiast and, most importantly, a NY native, was the obvious choice for the Blowout Boys, Danny E and Antonio T. - or the Derek Jeter and A-Roid of Chaotic Wrestling. The Southie Suck-twins, Bry-guy and Matty, predictably snatching at the Blowout's swagger, went to their house and asked one of their lazy, out of shape, couch potato brothers to save them from the powers from the Big Apple. Enter the "Amateur Assassin" Nick Logan. Nicky may be some kind of amateur legend, but the captain of the JV team would ride the bench if he had the chance to play on the Varsity level. Cousins, brothers, tassels, tough guys, man-tans, and more when these two three-man tag teams face off in the Logan Brothers' hometown of Lowell, MA. There is no question as to the DeLuise DeLighfulness of this match.

The battle for Greece has come to a climax. The Golden Grecian God, Alex Arion, was tricked by young Elia Markapkojkojoalsou (pronounced crap-a-lop-o-los) in their last match-up and upon watching the replay, it was clear to this unbiased sports broadcaster and pro-wrestling's premier prognosticator, that Elia was holding onto the Golden Greek's tights during the roll up for the 1-2-3, thus breaking Chaotic Wrestling's rules of conduct for pinfall victory (page 42, subsection C:14-19). Chaotic Wrestling fans will be able to "oooooooopa" all over the PAV in Lowell when they see their little buddy Elia Metropolis get laid out by the Golden Grecian God - Alex Arion at the hottest event of the season, SUMMER CHAOS! DeLuise DeLight-atude!!!!

Whilst driving on the turnpike to SUMMER CHAOS, every exit ramp Chase Del Monte chose led him straight to Brian Fury's lemonade stand. Fury, the Sultan of Sobriety and cornerstone of the Empire, led the Heavyweight Champion Del Monte on a wild-grey goose Chase (puns intended) in and out of the ring for many months. On August 21st, The Clean and Sober Superstar will have the opportunity to de-toxify the Heavyweight Title and clean up the locker room when he becomes your next Chaotic Wrestling Heavyweight Champion by destroying the "Shorestopper" Chase Del Monte. This is a guaranteed DeLuise DeLight and is sure to be a highlight of SUMMER CHAOS.

Big Rick Fuller has been disparaging and mudslinging against Chaotic's Candidate for Heavyweight Champion, Brian Milonas, over the last few months. The Pollster from Pittsburgh, Milonas, takes the time to make sure every fan walks away from a Chaotic Wrestling show and feels like they are closer to the political process and has the access to great men - the likes of Brian Milonas. Milonas took on the hand of injustice when he smacked the Big Rick Machine, Big Rick Fuller, in his hand that is used primarily for chopping the chests of Chaotic's bests. A massive hero who is a hero to the masses, Milonas's appetite for Chaotic Heavyweight gold is insatiable. With his security team, Agents Magik and Starrrr, watching out for his best interests, Milonas - the Wrestling Reformist, will be sure to send Rick Fuller to the hospital for universal health care in this NO Disqualification match. After this SUMMER CHAOS town hall meeting, there will be no question who should be elected Heavyweight Champion.

Finally, I can't resist but to mention the verified debut of "The Manliest Man", Biff Busick. After eating a nearly-raw 26 ounce sirloin steak and announcing his Chaotic Wrestling debut, I received a phone call from Busick's Sports Illustrated football phone and he said: "Listen, RJ Lard-(bleep), I am Double Buff, Triple Tough, and all the broads want my stuff!" I told him that Chaotic Wrestling welcomes a manly man with his talents and that I, personally, am really looking forward to meeting him and hearing more about his plans for Chaotic Wrestling when his DeLuise DeLight Debut happens, August 21st, at SUMMER CHAOS. He belched, declared that "scarves are for sissy-nancies" and then hung up.

SUMMER CHAOS will be a historic night, a USDA-certified DeLuise DeLight!

Until next time, may all your DeLights be DeLuise,
RJ DeLuise