"DeLuise DeLights and Disasters" by RJ DeLuise

12/03/09

The anticipation is finally over and the gift you have been "HO HO HOping" for: The lucky 13th edition of the "DeLuise DeLights and Disasters, Manly Holiday segment with Biff Busick" is finally HERE! Your Santa stand-in and host of this Holiday special is none other than "Pro-wrestling's Premier Prognosticator": me, RJ DeLuise. Allow me to fill your stockings with knowledge and sauerkraut.

Let's open the biggest gift under the tree first, shall we? Chase Del Monte, now the longest reigning Chaotic Wrestling Heavyweight Champion in the history of the company, has no chance of continuing the after-party because the old lady up stairs called in "THE ENFORCER" Max Bauer...

"knock, knock."

"Who's there?!"

"Max Bauer here to take Chase Del Monte's title and his dignity."

The Chase Del Monte Era in Chaotic Wrestling is being called: "Awesome", "Tubular", "Radical" and one 9 year old girl called it, "Super doooper"... From the perspective of this unbiased wrestling commentator and sports journalist of the highest distinction, I can honestly 100% completely disagree with the fans here and say that the time for partying is over and that the time for a serious level of Enforcer-ment has come. Max Bauer looks to destroy and derail Chase Del Monte's pleasure cruise, when these two superior superstars go one-on-one, Friday night, December 11th, for the Chaotic Wrestling Heavyweight Title!

DeLuise Disaster is in the advent calendar for December 11th for the team of Mikaze and Demon Ortiz when they face Brian Fury and Scott Reed in tag team action. The first team referenced is known mainly as masters of the dark arts which scare the crap out of certain commentators, not me, but others...and on the other side we have the Empire's Ruling Class of "The Clean and Sober Superstar": Brian Fury and his partner, "Smokin' HOT" Scott Reed. There is more history among these competitors than 10th grade Social Studies. Get your tickets now (and save $5 if you bring a new, unwrapped toy to this live event with Toys for Tots making sure it goes to a child who needs it) AND you'll get to witness one of the most explosive matches possible when the "Manager of Champions" Sean Gorman leads his mighty Empire into battle against the "New England Ninja/American Sasuke": Mikaze and his partner, "The Puerto Rican Poltergeist" and Chaotic Wrestling Hall of Famer: Demon Ortiz.

The most DeLuise DeLightful Data is that Danny E. is the unDeniable unDisputable New England Champion! On December 11th, Danny E. will face the "Golden Greek" Alex Arion for Danny's aforementioned acquired accolade. Ever since the Golden Greek started hanging out with that "Greek Glee Club Geek", Elia Popsomezitsalos, yours truly has found himself sitting elsewhere during 6th period lunch. That's right, I am now sitting with Danny E. and he and I talk about world politics, Obamanomics, hair gel, men's fragrances, and most importantly, his New England Title. Between protein bars and push-ups he tells me that he is "totally ready dude" for the first challenger to his New England Title, the "Golden Greek" Alex Arion. My prediction: Big Apple Beatdown for the Golden Greek and Danny E. keeps his title. DeLuise DeLightitude.

I checked my mail for my new Brian Milonas action figure I created online and I came across a cardboard box that read "Shlitz" on the one side and on the other side read as follows (in red magic marker):

Dear Santa,
It's me, the Manliest Man in Chaotic Wrestling, Biff Busick. This year I have been extra buff and extra tough and all the ladies still really want my stuff. I could bench press one of your goofy, sissy-nancy elves with one arm. If you ever thought you were manlier than me, then you could step up to my man chimney in Mantown and I would make sure you get jumped and beat to a pulp. I hope that last part about jumping you does not effect my presents this year. Last year you just brought me tube socks. This year I want a My Little Pony or any other unwrapped, new toy that anyone can bring to the show on the 11th of December to support Toys for Tots and then save $5 on their ticket. And I want curls to become an Olympic Sport. Thanks a lot you out of shape sissy-nancy!

Manly,
Biff Busick

All this action and more plus holiday cheer. On the 11th: Bring your family, bring a toy and help a child this year!

Until next time, may all your DeLights be DeLuise,
RJ DeLuise