"The Power of Negative Thinking" by Sean Gorman

12/02/09

I hate Christmas so much I make The Grinch look like Mother Teresa, but this month I am giving you simpletons a gift...

Two columns for the price of one.

You're welcome.

Now let's discuss December 11th in Lowell...

Do you have people in your life you would like to get rid of? Do you have people in your life that make you sick to your stomach each time you see them?

Well, I sure do.

Their names are Demon Ortiz and Mikaze.

I am SO SICK of these men being in my life. Mikaze is one of the best high flyers in wrestling and Ortiz kicks like a mule, but each time The Empire seemingly disposes of them, they somehow turn up again and again and again and again.

I'll give them credit where credit is due. They are unflinching in their quest to annoy me.

However, on December 11th in Lowell, I will unfurl a new plan of attack. Rather than having Brian Fury and Scott Reed try to do away with these men individually, they will now do it simultaneously.

Nobody knows Mikaze better than Fury and nobody has fought Ortiz harder than Scott Reed. Add Fury vs. Ortiz and Reed vs. Mikaze into that equation and the result will be interesting to say the least.

Fans in the Lowell area had best buy their tickets early. This match will be epic in its ferocity and fury.

I, for one, want to say I was there the night Ortiz and Mikaze were driven out of Chaotic Wrestling once and for all.

And now for something somewhat off topic...

Throughout the country there are many wrestling schools or, rather, places a lot of sad sacks claim to be wrestling schools.

Unfortunately, many of these places are run by bitter "veterans" who do nothing more than steal hard earned money from teenagers. They then use this income to run second-rate shows so as to live out their own pitiful dreams of still making it in the wrestling business.

This heist suits their resentful personalities well, as they now have the authority to boss youngsters around and disrespect them in the same way they've probably been disrespected their whole pathetic lives.

It would be a compliment to call these trainers "Has Beens," but the truth is they Never Were. There's a reason for that.

That's not to say a credential for a wrestling school is based soley on whether or not the trainer ever made it big. Professional wrestling is tough and not everyone can. For example, Les Thatcher is someone who many young fans may never have heard of, but stands solidly as one of the best trainers in the last two decades.

In choosing a wrestling school, a child or parent ought to do what anyone would do when purchasing anything...

Research the product.

In this case, the product is the wrestlers themselves. Ask who has the person trained? How good are they? Where have they gone? What have they done?

The problem with many of these old men who run disreputable wrestling schools is their bitterness will not allow their students to surpass them in any way. I've heard it time and time again from talented wrestlers who say, "It seems like my trainer doesn't want me to go any farther than they have."

They're right. They don't. It's a psychological thing: "Misery Loves Company." These trainers want their students to forever be at their level of mediocrity. Their subconscious fear is to be outshined.

This is a part of professional wrestling that honestly saddens me.

I've actually seen these fat losers scold young wrestlers for not having a better physique.

Can you imagine that? Can you imagine a fat sack of whale dung admonishing someone for their physique while they stuff their own mouth with a cupcake? Only in the world of wrestling could someone get away with that. Only in the world of wresting could someone demand so much respect while showing so little.

These pathetic veterans should stick to doing what they do best...

Serving me my lobster dinner at a nice restaurant.

All that said, I would urge anyone interested in becoming a professional wrestler to check out The Chaotic Training Center located in North Andover, MA.

The facility is professional and clean. The staff is young and talented and many of the students have gone on to great heights in the world of professional wrestling.

For more information, check their website at:

http://www.chaotictc.com/

Thank you.

That is all.